2011 Arbirtrary Bowl Predictions: Alumni Face-Off Part 3

Above the graduation picture of the Princeton Class of 1879. Among that group was a future Congressman, a Supreme Court Justice, and a U.S. President, but not one notable football player.

Now that we have reached the midsection of this bowl season preview, I feel comfortable dispensing with the pleasantries. If you need more information about how this set of arbitrary predictions work, I invite you to visit my earlier posts in this series. I will try to make this brief since we have a lot of bowls concentrated before the New Year. So prepare yourself for a load of college football and a whole mess of alumni.

Armed Forces Bowl- 12pm 12/30/2011
Gerald J. Ford Stadium, University Park TX
Brigham Young Cougars (-1.5) vs. Tulsa Golden Hurricane
The Alumni:

Jeopardy!-Champion Ken Jennings

VS.

Author S. E. Hinton

As the largest religious university in the United States, Brigham Young has had a plethora of notable graduates. Contrast that with Tulsa, which has one sentence written under the section for "Alumni" on its Wikipedia page, "This section requires expansion." Still Tulsa produced S. E. Hinton who wrote novels like The Outsiders and That Was Then, This Is Now which every moody kid reads at some point growing up. Of all the BYU alumni, I chose Kenn Jennings because I am a trivia nerd just like he is. My second choice was Mitt Romney. (Man, will that guy every finish in 1st place?!) 

The Prediction: I am getting visions of a face paced game with some pretty good offensive showings. The Cougars will have the craftier game plan and pile on the points just like Jennings built up insurmountable leads during his game show run.
BYU- 41 Tulsa- 31

Pinstripe Bowl- 3:20pm 12/30/2011
Yankee Stadium, New York NY
Rutgers Scarlet Knights (-2.5) vs. Iowa State Cyclones
The Alumni:

Toni Morrison

VS.

George Washington Carver

Comparing these two, comes down to a choice between comparing the full range of contributions they made to American life, or comparing the pigeonholes they have been forced into. Carver will forever be known as the man who invented peanut butter. A legacy that is both factually incorrect and ignorant of the sweeping contributions he made to agricultural life for poor Americans. Morrison is probably best known as Oprah's favorite author, but that doesn't do justice to the last American to earn the Nobel Prize for literature. Carver did more overall, but Morrison is at least known for work she actually did.

The Prediction: This game will start as an even match, low scoring and slow going. At some point in the second half, a blown call will give the Cyclones the lead. It will change the momentum of the game, but their margin of victory will be much larger, diminishing the importance of that one play.
Iowa State- 31 Rutgers- 20

Fandango Bowl- 5pm 12/30/2011
Angel Stadium, Anaheim CA
Hawai'i Warriors vs. Southern California Trojans (-12)
The Alumni:

Bette Middler

VS.

George Lucas

 It only makes sense that the game once known as the Hollywood Bowl, should feature some serious star power in the alumni. George Lucas remains one of the most famous and successful film directors ever. He has created a multibillion dollar multimedia empire out of the Star Wars franchise, even if you and everyone you know hated the prequels. The Divine Miss M may not seem very Hawaiian in appearance or manner, but she has had the most celebrated life of anyone to attend the University of Hawai'i. This is a difficult choice for me between one of my favorite singers and the creator of one of my favorite movies.  

The Prediction: Much like Lucas, USC will open huge racking up lots of points early only to collapse in the second half (RE: the aforementioned prequels). Much like Middler, the Warriors will triumph because of their durability and staying power, allowing them to sneak a victory out of a late score.
Hawai'i- 35 USC- 34

Music City Bowl- 6:40pm 12/30/2011
LP Field, Nashville TN
Mississippi State Bulldogs (-7) vs. Wake Forest Demon Deacons
The Alumni:

John Grisham (photo by S. Brenner)

VS.

Tim Duncan

If you could pick to have the life of either of these famous alumni, you couldn't make a bad selection. You could be the author of novels that made courtroom drama secy again and sold roughly 3.7 billion copies. Or you could be the greatest power forward in basketball history. (Yeah, that's right! You heard me Karl Malone.) They are both insanely rich, and being a 4 time NBA champion is probably about equal to having 11 movies and 2 TV shows adapted from your work. Still I have to give the slight edge to Duncan, because I think it would be pretty cool to be seven feet tall.

The Prediction: This will turn into one of the best bowl games of the 2011, with both teams executing sharply. They will both look impressive, and the deciding factor will be Wake Forest taking over in the trenches. This will give them the edge in the running game, which will allow them to control the clock and turn a narrow lead into a bowl game win.
Wake Forest- 24  Mississippi State- 20

Insight Bowl- 10pm 12/30/2011
Sun Devil Stadium, Tempe AZ
Iowa Hawkeyes vs. Oklahoma Sooners (-16)
The Alumni:

Nile Kinnick

VS.

Billy Sims featured on a Sports Illustrated cover

Two football greats were selected for this contest, because I appreciate what each of them represent. Billy Sims was the living embodiment of the Sooners' glory years. He was a powerful running back who dominated games. He remains a great representative for Oklahoma. After winning the Heisman Trophy himself, he always tries to start a "Boomer! Sooner!" chat at the presentation ceremony whenever a fellow Sooner wins the award. Kinnick was a terrific quarterback, and by all accounts one heckuva human being. When he won the Heisman he gave a fondly remembered speech noting the terrors of World War II, which was noteworthy because the United States hadn't yet entered the war. He would die not long after in an accident while serving in the military. Every time they flip a coin before a Big Ten football game, that coin bears Kinnick's image. Now that is a tribute I would love to earn.

The Prediction: The omens show a faltering Oklahoma team that will have to rely on the run to carry their offense. I foresee Iowa racking up lots of passing yards, but not a lot of points. The game will go to overtime and the Hawkeyes will win the toss allowing them to hold OU to a field goal before scoring a winning touchdown.
Iowa- 29 Oklahoma- 26 (OT)

Meineke Car Care Bowl- 12pm 12/31/2011
Reliant Stadium, Houston TX
Texas A&M Aggies (-11) vs. Northwestern Wildcats
The Alumni:

Neal Boortz (photo by E. Saulsberry)

VS.

Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A.

To set up an entertaining pairing, I skewed my selection criteria a bit. Loads of notable folks graduated from Northwestern, and I bet there have been Aggies more interesting than Neal Boortz -not that I could find any, but I assume they're out there somewhere. I just enjoyed the theater of pitting someone who has earned a living as an outspoken conservative pundit, and someone who has earned a living pretending to be an outspoken conservative pundit. Colbert may have a larger cult following, but I think for the purposes of predicting this game I have to favor the genuine article over the imitation.

The Prediction: The Aggies demonstrate a clear talent advantage in this game, and maximize that advantage. They grind out a convincing, if not especially pretty, victory.
Texas A&M- 24 Northwestern- 10

Sun Bowl- 2pm 12/31/2011
Sun Bowl, El Paso TX
Utah Utes vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (-3.5)
The Alumni:

J.Willard Marriott

VS.

Jeff Foxworthy

Between these two alumni there can be no doubt who has had more success -at least measure monetarily. However, I cannot give the edge to Marriott, despite no matter how many billions of dollars his hotel chains are worth. I spent my wedding night in a Marriott hotel, and I have determined that the accommodations must have been to blame for my, um, disappointing performance. You can ridicule Foxworthy for milking the redneck comedy angle for all he could get. I just know I have never felt impotent frustration after listening to his jokes.

The Prediction: I foresee the Utes hurting their chances several times with costly blunders. Georgia Tech will seem to depend to heavily on basic run plays, but they will get enough big plays to win.
Georgia Tech- 24 Utah- 16

Fight Hunger Bowl- 3:30pm 12/31/2011
AT&T Park, San Fransisco CA
UCLA Bruins vs. Illinois Fighting Illini (-1.5)
The Alumni:

Dr. Maulana Karenga (center) celebrating Kwanza

VS.

Dan Savage

Since this bowl is organized around a philanthropic purpose, I thought it appropriate to select alumni who have made an impact by trying to improve the lives of others. Dr. Maulana Karenga may not be a household name, but he founded Kwanza. Plenty of people mock Kwanza as an artificial celebration. After trying to turn the Michigan-Ohio State game into a national holiday, I can assure you that founding a new holiday is a hard thing to do. Savage has also had a tremendous influence on others by starting the It Gets Better project, which tries to comfort young people suffering bullying and persecution. As a former teacher, I know how important it can be to reach out to a young teenager before tragedy strikes. Overall, I feel inclined to favor the person who founded the holiday during which this bowl game will take place.

The Prediction: You should expect a real defensive slugfest. Both teams will play with great spirit and show terrific unit cohesion in all aspects of the game. They will protect their goal lines with their lives, but I expect the Bruins to force at least one touchdown to seal their margin of victory.
UCLA- 16 Illinois- 12

Liberty Bowl- 3:30pm 12/31/2011
Liberty Bowl, Memphis TN
Cincinnati Bearcats vs. Vanderbilt Commodores (-2)
The Alumni:

Sandy Koufax

VS.

James Patterson

We have a contest between quality and quantity in this match-up. The Bearcats have one of history's greatest baseball pitchers representing them, but he had to retire before he turned 32. Patterson has produced so many popular novel, he should just add "#1 New York Times Best Seller" to the end of his name. Too bad for him, that most literary critics consider his work dreck, and he has been accused of coasting on his co-authors' abilities. 

The Prediction: I predict a lot of yards by Vanderbilt, but not a lot of points. They will run the ball a lot and dominate the time of possession. The Bearcats will stall at times, but they will make a few home run plays to score enough to win.
Cincinnati- 21 Vanderbilt- 15

Chick-fil-A Bowl- 7:30pm 12/31/2011
Georgia Dome, Atlanta GA
Virginia Cavaliers vs. Auburn Tigers (-1.5)
The Alumni:

Tina Fey (with donuts)

VS.

Charles Barkley (photo by S. Lipofsky)

Two very entertaining figures as the chosen alumni indicate a very entertaining game. Both Barkley and Fey actually have gotten better with time. After leaving Saturday Night Live Fey created the award winning show 30 Rock. After capping a great basketball career, Barkley became a legend as an commentator on TV. Oddly even Barkley's scandals have only endeared him more to the public.

The Prediction: This game will  start slow but get better as it goes. Scoring will keep increasing until the 4th quarter. I predict the final margin will come when Auburn makes a risky play that looks like it will cost them, only to have it unexpectedly pay off with a late touchdown.
Auburn- 34 Virginia- 31

Happy New Year, and I'll see you all back here for Part 4.