Saturday, July 09, 2005

The most important definite article I know

As a graduate of The Ohio State University, I am often called upon to explain why there's a "the" in the title. After all most institutions don't seem to need it to distinguish themselves, even from those with similar names. Some associate it with an aura of arrogance. It appears that OSU is overcompensating for something -in the opinion of some I have spoken to, they think the problem is that Ohio State is a lowly state school with aspirations of being among the academic elite, like Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Stanford, or the University of Michigan. I can offer two explanations for why Buckeyes include the "the", but first I'll add a qualifier.
I don't think the "the" itself is really that important to anyone associated with Ohio State. We just know it's part of our official title and want to be sure no one forgets it. I have known some Ohio State students and alumni to be especially defensive about it. I have known many more ousiders to attack it. The university doesn't put it in it's acronym ( for instance their website is www.osu.edu, not www.tosu.edu) . Really, I think it's more of a target for outside criticism that source of internal pride. I can think of plenty of reasons to dislike the university and its student, familiarity breeds contempt afterall. But, are you honestly going to tell me that you HATE Ohio State and everyone attached to it, because they use an additional word in the school's title that in your opinion shouldn't be there? You're going to get bent out of shape over that? You're being so picky as to complain about something as sensible as "Those cocky Buckeyes, their motto is in Latin! Why can't they speak English like the rest of us?" So, please, don't tell me Ohio State is arrogant or out of line to use it. It's just a minor part of the school title, that sounds cool. What's so bad about that?
As far as explaining its purpose, I think there could be a historical or a cultural rationale for the annoying articles presence. The historical reason is that The Ohio State University is actually not the first state university in Ohio. It was preceded by Ohio University and Miami University (not to be confused with the University of Miami in Florida, or "The U"). So even by the time they built a college in Columbus, Ohioans had multiple places they could refer to as "the state school" Additionally, Ohio State wasn't always Ohio State, it was originally Ohio A & M. So when it got around to going by Ohio State, there really was some confusion about which state university in Ohio you were referring to. Some people don't understand this story, and, like all who suffer from a lack of historical education, assume things have always been they way they currently are. "Ohio State is really big and really famous. It's stupid that they would need a 'the' to distinguish themselves from dumb little Ohio U." Well. actually they kind of needed it back before they had the largest student population in the world, or won national championships in multiple sports. So the school's administration decided to add an extra word into the legal name and title. It doesn't do any harm, and over time the state of Ohio has come to appreciate and defend it.
This leads into the cultural explanation, which really is one of pride.Not that anyone has any pride in the word "the". It's the same pride people have in their names being pronounced correctly. Regardless of whether it was a dumb idea to place the offending word in the title in the first place, it's there now. Those of us with a stake in Ohio State would appreciate if you respected our choice to include it. We'd be just as defensive if we had decided to make our legal name "An Ohio State University", or "Ohio State University- Columbus".
When people mock the crown jewel of our state college system for having a "the" where they don't think one should be, it just feels like they're talking down to us. The word "Ohio" has taken place of the word "okie" as a handy descriptor for everything rural, redneck, and rubish in our country. I distinctly remember a Baywatch episode, where David Hasselhoff had to comfort a poor California boy heart broken that his parents were moving him to Ohio. Oh my god Ohio! Is there a worse hell imaginable for someone from New York or Los Angeles? We resent that. The "the" isn't there to represent the importance of the university. It's there to represent the importance of the state. That's right it's "The Ohio"'s State University and you better respect it. I just find it offensive that so many people would assume we don't deserve a "the" in our title. Why not? Does our ability to produce more college graduates than any other institution of the face of the Earth not merit it? Didn't we earn at least some of it in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl? Tell me one good reason why Ohio State doesn't deserve to be The Ohio State University, and I'll tell you three good reasons why we do. Anytime someone asks me, "What's with that 'the'?", I feel like there saying, "Who do you think you are?" I think I'm from Ohio and damned proud of it. If I want a "the", then by golly you are going to acknowledge the "the". Afterall as Heather Graham's character observed in the movie Bowfinger, "Just because I'm from Ohio, doesn't mean I'm 'from Ohio'."

2 comments:

Capnhistory said...

I would just like to apologize for writing an angry rant in my blog so quickly. Boy, it sure didn't take long for me to degenerate to the dregs of being just another jerk with a blog. I stink

Shauna Fox said...

2 things:
1. i don't think you guys really earned much in 2003. as much as i root for the big ten, that flag in the endzone was definitely WEAK!
2. when referred to correctly, "The" before "university of michigan" is also capitalized