NBA Pay Scale 2006- The Lowlights

The following players represent some of the league’s embarrassments. These are players who have either lucked their way into highly undeserved contracts or who have turned into disturbing disappointments on the court. In any case their respective teams would show VERY little interest in bringing them back. I don’t think that means they would just let them go. After all you never know when one of these players could turn the corner. Plus, there’s always something to be said for saving face. However, just because the teams make them an offer doesn’t mean it will be a good one as you will see.
Just in case you need them, the rules are here.

465. Anfernee Hardaway:
What he earned (according to 82games.com)- $180,000
What he was paid (his actual salary for 2005-2006)- $15.8 Million
What he’s worth (my own Pay Scale rating)- −$5 Million
After years of disappointment, I predict the Knicks would use this opportunity to try and finally get a little of their sunk losses back from Hardaway. Anfernee has spent season after season of living off the Knicks’ dime while contributing nothing to almost nothing on the court and has racked up quite a debt to the ownership over this time. If given the chance to name their price for Hardaway the Knicks will probably ask for some of their money back (When did we stop calling him “Penny” by the way? Was it around about the same time he started sucking so hard Chris Rock refused to associate his name with Lil’ Penny?) I know it may seem cruel but before you accuse me of trying to reinstate indentured servitude ask yourself the following questions. Have you seen any game that Hardaway played in during the last six years, that didn’t make you want to demand your money back, even if you didn’t pay to see it? And, how else to propose the Knicks raise the money to buy out the remainder of Larry Brown’s regrettable contract.

464. Stevie Francis:
What he earned- $4.26 Million
What he was paid- $13.7 Million
What he’s worth- − $4.05 Million
Here’s another player that’s become more risk than reward. Francis has become an absolute chemistry killer wherever he goes, second only to Terrell Owens in major American sports. What’s the average life expectancy of a coach’s career when Francis is involved, eight months? Six? Since Isaiah Thomas made this mess you can bet he wouldn’t put his coaching career on the line without taking a bite out of Stevie Frantic first; he may be crazy and incompetent but he isn’t suicidal. Now’s the time for New York to tell Francis to pony up if he wants to continue to have the privilege of living in New York, playing basketball in the biggest media market, getting great seats at Madison Square Garden while he slowly nurses an injury, and being able to put “NBA player” on his W-2’s.
(Random aside: What do you think NBA player’s put on their W-2’s, do they write “professional athlete” or “basketball player”? Do some of them get creative, like does Rip Hamilton write “baller” and Kobe Bryant write “The Mamba”? If Shaq wrote “Most dominant basketball player of the new millennium” on an IRS form would anyone argue? I realize that since all of these guys have accountants and that probably makes the issue moot, but still you find yourself wondering these things some times. Anyways …)

460. Stephon Marbuy:
What he earned- $5.67 Million
What he was paid- $16.5 Million
What he’s worth- $0
Does it surprise anyone that I have listed three Knicks as being among the players least deserving of their current paycheck? I think that slams the Knicks organization as much as I need to for the rest of this piece. I pretty much base Starbury’s $0 salary on one fact. Near the end of last season he claimed he loved the Knicks so much he wanted to retire as a Knick and have his ashes scattered at Madison Square Garden. Fine, I will take him at his word. If this son of New York really cares so much about this team then let him play for it for free. Prove you love this game, by playing like you would on the playground and not like a show boat trying to earn a few extra dollars in his next contract or endorsement deal.

402. Carlos Boozer:
What he earned- $2.31 Million
What he was paid- $11.6 Million
What he’s worth- $50,000
If anyone doubts that LeBron James is the child of destiny sent to lead the NBA to the promised land just look at all the bad karma that came down on Carlos Boozer as soon as he betrayed the King. Boozer was a promising young player who looked like he might become the much needed reliable second banana for LeBron, then he pulled out of his negotiations with Cleveland to land a sweeter deal at Utah. Ever since he has fought off multiple injuries and quickly become another disappointing and overpriced vet. The Jazz take this opportunity to pay him like a promising young player again, just to see if that makes him hungry again.

401. Grant Hill:
What he earned- $1.71 Million
What he was paid- $15.7 Million
What he’s worth- $60,000
Since coming into the NBA Grant Hill has seen it all, he’s lived the “Next Big Thing” story, the “Superstar on the Verge of Greatness” story, the “Tragic Setbacks that will Only Make for a Better Ghostwritten Autobiography” story, the “When’s He Coming Back?” story, the “Seriously Dawg He Better Get Back in the Game Soon” story, the “He’s Still Around?” story, the “Feel Good Almost Meaningful Comeback” story, the “Why’s He Saying Other Player’s Are Racist for Questioning J.J. Redick’s Ability?” story, and finally the “Yes, His Contract is Almost Up and We’ll Have Cap Room Again!” story. The Magic want his salary off their books, but they’ll pay him a pittance in the hopes he pulls a Tiki Barber, and they sell a few extra tickets and jerseys during his farewell tour.

375. Paul Shirley:
What he earned- $0
What he was paid- $0
What he’s worth- $80,000
For those of you who don’t read many sarcastic, online columns that provide an cynical insider’s perspective on basketball, then you probably haven’t been following the writing career of Paul Shirley, professional benchwarmer an all around great guy. Since he began writing a blog for the Phoenix Suns’ website Paul has taken fans behind the curtain in the NBA, the shady basketball minor leagues, and onto the set of his never released pilot for a TV show based on his life. Now that the Timberwolves have foolishly cut him from their roster just before the season began, I am using this column as my outcry for justice. Some team in the NBA MUST put Shirley on their roster. I know he isn’t worth much as a basketball player (that sounds like a nasty thing to say about someone whose one of the 300 best basketball players on the planet, but you have to realize that that’s just on the edge of breaking into an NBA team’s core rotation), but you have to admit he has a loyal fan base how will surely buy enough merchandise and tickets that you could afford to support his writing career, at least for one more season.

373. Antonio Davis:
What he earned- $50,000
What he was paid- $3.5 Million
What he’s worth- $90,000
Quick check: Can you even remember who Antonio Davis is? I figure he deserves $1,000 for ever person who just said “yes”. Oh heck I’ll say he deserves an even $90k, just because he’ll feel hurt if he doesn’t make more than the guy who’s just in the NBA to blog about it.

360. Jalen Rose:
What he earned- $970,000
What he was paid- $15.7 Million
What he’s worth- $100,000
Rose is another player who got cut just before the season tipped off, despite the fact that he has a little game left in him and the team will still have to pay him millions of dollars even if he never appears on court. The true injustice of all of this, is that the team that currently holds his contract (who I’m not going to mention here because they get plenty of abuse elsewhere from me) is depriving us of the opportunity to watch one of the game’s natural comedians be interviewed by the press. Rose is just too entertaining to cut out of the picture. So you have to believe that some team might pay him a fraction of his current salary just to hang around the locker room and keep everyone else loose. That’s at least what I based my Pay Scale rating on.

301. Keith Van Horn:
What he earned- $730,000
What he was paid- $15.7 Million
What he’s worth- $150,000
How Keith Van Horn ever became a max money player is still a puzzle to most basketball fans. Sure he still has some definite value on the court but he’s never going to be a major player on a quality team again. The Mavs, who are as deep as any other team in the association, really don’t have any need for him. Still, Mark Cuban has enough money to spare that if given the chance, they’ll probably toss some cash his way just to keep their depth.

226. Chris Webber:
What he earned- $5.91 Million
What he was paid- $19.1 Million
What he’s worth- $200,000
Since all Philly teams are doomed to disappoint their fans and since C-Webb is doomed to always ruin every chance he has at greatness, it only seems right that the Sixers keep him on the roster just so he doesn’t disappoint the fans. At since the Webber jinx far outweighs any Webber production they will be the only ones offering him any money, so they can get him cheap.

207. Baron Davis:
What he earned- $6.11 Million
What he was paid- $13.7 Million
What he’s worth- $250,000
I fully accept that Baron Davis is worth $6 million dollars when playing a full season at full strength. The Warriors would probably agree too. However we both know that odds are you’ll only get him for a quarter of the season at full strength and he usually is only at a sixth of his strength. So take $6 million divide by 24 and you get what I feel is an accurate Pay Scale rating of $250,000, leaving Davis just shy of the cut off level to be one of the Middlings.